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Today's Podcast Episode

Hello, dear friends and welcome to today's podcast episode, first and foremost.

Thank you for being here.

I just love our chats and I'm excited to get stuck into today's podcast episode, which is all about exposing all the reasons why you may not have achieved your fitness and health goals yet.

And the reason that I want to do this is because it's coming up to the festive season and there's still plenty of time for you to achieve your goals this year in quarter four.

And I want to help you get there.

I am feeling completely on top of my game.

Having been injured.

I was out with a back injury.

I pulled a muscle in my back while sleeping and, um, I had a five week recovery process.

I wasn't able to work out.

I'm back on the workouts, excuse me a couple of weeks now.

And I'm feeling really good and I was sitting and having a cup of coffee in my local coffee shop today.

And I thought to myself, how best can I serve my clients?

How best can I serve my podcast listeners?

You guys today with about seven weeks before the end of year.

And I thought, I know I'm going to write a list of reasons, a list of every possible reason I could think of, of why you haven't achieved your goals.

And we're going to help each other in this episode.

This isn't about calling out bad behavior or feeling bad that we're not doing something.

This is about taking control, taking charge of our fitness and health so that we can finish the year strong.

We can finish the year fit and healthy.

I want to remind you that you don't have to wait until the New Year and do it with all the crazy people that go crazy in New Year's for a couple of weeks and then stop.

I want you to achieve every single thing that you want to achieve with your fitness and health right now before Q four ends.

And um, no better way to do it than today's episode.

So let's get stuck in.

I'm going to just list out all the reasons why you mightn't have achieved your fitness and health goals yet.

And if one resonates with you, maybe make a little note and decide what you're going to do about it and the different approach that you're going to take.


So I want to list a couple of reasons why you may not be fit yet.

If you are struggling to become fit.

Number one, you're not lifting weights.

So you're either in the gym, you're doing cardio, maybe you're doing classes like Zumba or cardio exercises, maybe you're pounding the pavements, maybe you're on the treadmill on the cross trainer.

This is why you haven't become fit as a woman.

Over 40 lifting weights is the coolest thing ever.

It only takes 30 minutes three times a week and all we need to do is lift dumbbells.

And what that does is that gets us super fit, super strong, really mobile.

It's excellent for improving your fitness with day to day activities.

So think of getting in and out of the car, lifting shopping bags, putting things on a shelf over your head, dropping something on the floor and having to squat down and get it, getting into bed, getting off the couch, all those things, I'm not even talking about going on a hike or a walk.

I'm talking about your everyday functional fitness, your movement, your everyday activities, lifting weights is what makes your quality of life better.

Lifting weights is what makes your life easier to go about your day to go shopping, to lift bags, all that sort of stuff.

Lifting weights is important.

Also, to mention it improves your bone density, which is going to help with osteoporosis or help prevent you getting osteoporosis.

If you have it, it's going to help you manage it.

It's also really good for building lean muscle, which means you're going to have a higher metabolism, you're going to be burning more calories at rest than if you didn't lift weights.

Really important.

Really terrific for your mental health.

It helps you burn fat at rest.

Lifting weights is the way forward.

If you're, if you're a woman over 40 you're not lifting weights, you're missing out.

All lifting weights does to you is help you build lean muscle, helps you become trim.

You don't bulk out, you don't get big lifting weights.

The second thing you're just not exercising.

And I know that sounds a little bit crazy to say, but I used to not call myself out on this stuff.

I used to walk around giving out that I was overweight or unfit.

And I never used to think to myself.

Well, Jessica, it's because you're not exercising.

I used to just walk around giving out, I had a victim mindset.

A negative mindset.

I was always giving out to myself about why I wasn't doing about me not being fit about me, not being unhealthy.

And I hope you and me are buddies now.

So I just want to say to you from friend to friend, maybe you're not fit because you're not working out and maybe this will be the kind of eureka moment where you might go.

Oh, yeah, I'm actually not working out.

I never really thought of that.

The next reason is that you're not consistent, you're just not consistent with your workouts can be a big reason why we're not fit.

And if you're anything like me, you've got your blinkers on, you can't see that it's as simple as that you're giving out.

Maybe that your workout isn't hard enough or it's too hard or it's too easy or that you are not putting in enough effort or that your weights are too light, your weights are too heavy.

Maybe you're just not consistent enough with your workouts.

Maybe you haven't been consistent for long enough a time.

Often I find with myself and for a lot of us is that we're inconsistent with our workouts, then we become consistent for like two weeks and then we wonder why we're not super fit.

Well, we've only been consistent for two weeks.

So a lack of consistency is generally speaking, one of the biggest reasons I see people not be fit that sounds really basic and simple, but often it's the basic and simple things that we are blinkered to.

I remember going on this like crazy hunt for the best diet that was going to help me lose weight.

I was eating too much takeaways.

I was eating crap on the couch every night.

I was skipping breakfast.

I was eating way too much food at night time.

But no, I didn't want to address any of that.

That was far too basic and simple.

I wanted to count my macros.

Find out what the calories were in all my food because that somehow seemed easier.

That's just distraction.

That's just distraction.

So, if you're not fit at the minute, I ask you, are you exercising, are you consistent with that exercise?

And are you lifting weights maybe as well?

You're not scheduling in your workouts.

So, maybe you're consistent and you work out and you lift weights.

Well, actually, my next point about you not scheduling in your workouts means you're inconsistent and that's why you're not fit.

So, my next point was maybe you're not scheduling in your workouts to your calendar.

So you're trying to wing it.

That could be a reason why you're not consistent.

You really need to take this seriously if you want to become fit, if becoming fit and healthy is a goal of yours.

They need to be on your calendar.

Why is it that we are so crazy about scheduling in all our work stuff?

We're very serious about it.

We never miss our child's, um, activities, but when it comes to our workouts.



Yeah, we'll fit that in somewhere.

It needs to be on your calendar.

It needs to be a nonnegotiable.

It needs to be part of your week.

Another reason why you mightn't be fit yet is because you're not protecting your me time.

You're not protecting your workout time.

So you have it on your calendar.

You have the days and times but something comes along and you just go.



No, cool.

I'll do that.

No problem.

I can move my workout.

It was only my workout.

It's, it's not, it's not very important I can schedule for a couple of hours later and you don't go to your workout every single time.

I reschedule a workout in the past for somebody.

I don't do my workout and I feel resentful towards the person, even though it's not their fault at all.

They didn't know you were going to do a workout.

And I feel resentful towards life and everybody around me and annoyed and irritated.

You don't need to feel annoyed or irritated.

You need to put the workouts in your calendar and make them non negotiables.

And if somebody in work says, hey, any chance you could start early on Wednesday and you have your workout planned at that time, they ask say, oh, I actually have an appointment at that time.

What about X or Y time at X or Y day?

Or if your family member, your husband said to you.

Hey, look, I need your help.


Well, maybe if your husband needs your help, that's fair enough.

But, I mean, an easy help.

Like, hey, are you doing anything this evening?

I was hoping to, you know, go somewhere for a half an hour.

Oh, well, actually I have a workout scheduled at this time, any chance we could do it another time.

And you know what if you're out of practice?

It sounds really weird and selfish.

However, it's not really weird or selfish.

The first few times I did it, I was really embarrassed.

I felt really bad in myself.

However, I stuck with it and I knew deep down there was nothing to feel bad about.

And now I'm kind of addicted to it.


I, I say it really easily and it's, it's just one of those things that you need to do for yourself, taking care of your health needs to be a nonnegotiable in your life.

If you're going to stick with it.

Ok, weight loss.

These are all the reasons that I think you may not have lost the weight you want to lose and remember it's not too late.

You're following diet culture.

You're obsessed.

You're on this obsession restriction binging and you're just continuing to do it.

You're doing the same thing over and over again and you're not changing.

So you're doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, but you're not, you're not willing to try anything new and you're not willing to let go of diet culture.

Because for some reason you think that if you do let it go, you won't get any results.

However, you're not thinking clearly.

This was me.

You're not getting results anyway.

I was really scared to give up diet culture to give up calorie counting to give up weighing myself because I thought that for some reason I'd go off the rails.

I was off the rails.

I thought, oh my God.

If I stop weighing myself, this is going to be out of control.

I was out of control.

If it's not working, if you're fluctuating all the time, it's not working.

Nothing bad is going to happen.

If you let it go, you're just scared of change.

You, you, you, you're scared, let it go if it's not working for you.

Another reason why you may not have lost the weight yet is that you're overeating.

Now, this is a sensitive subject, but many of us overeat and not think that that's the reason that we're overweight.

We want to learn more about the perfect salads.

We want to distract ourselves with other stuff going on with the food.

When I was dieting for all those years, I was just overeating.

I was eating too much.

I was eating too much food and it wasn't until I healed.

My relationship with food was I able to start eating less.

So maybe for you, you're overeating.

But because you think you're dieting, you don't think that's the problem.

And I chat to you about this literally in the podcast episode just gone by.

I think it's 140.

It is.

It's 140, so I won't get into it too much here.

But overeating may be one of the reasons why you're overweight.

And I, and I'm not being funny here.

It's really easy for me to call the things out now that I'm out of it when you're stuck in the middle of it the way I was.

And I was really struggling for years.

I was three stone overweight.

If somebody had said to me, Jesus, do you ever think that you're overweight because you're just eating too much food?

I would really have appreciated that because at the time because I was feeling that I was eating less feeling because I felt like I was on a diet because I was obsessing about it and thinking about it so much and eating my lunch, wondering what am I going to have for dinner and what am I going to have for my 4 p.



Because I can't get hungry.

I've got to eat like hummus and crackers because I was kind of in that mindset.

I never for a second thought Jesus just eat a little bit less.

Now, I do understand in order to eat less, you need to heal your relationship with food because you may be comfort eating.

But one of the reasons that you're overweight is because you may be overeating and it's a good idea to look at that.

Another reason you might be overweight is that you're eating too little at meal times and then you're overeating at night time.

So you're fooling yourself, but you haven't called yourself out on it yet, which is really normal.

And I did that all the time.

So after a lot of dieting and a lot of calorie counting, I said that's it.

I'm going to eat less and I really restricted my breakfast and I really restricted my lunch.

And I, I'm, I've got to be honest, I always am in this, in these podcasts that, that hunger feeling felt good.

I felt like I was in control now.

That's crazy.

That's like a very bad relationship with food.

But that restriction that I did in the day made me feel in control and I felt good.

However, I would overeat then so much at night time.

And if it wasn't that night, it was the weekend, it always caught up on me.

I would eat like crazy because I was so hungry.

So maybe one of the reasons why you're overweight, why you're not hitting your weight loss goal is because you're eating too little at meal times and then come the night time, you're eating way too much or you're eating too little during the week and come weekends, you're going crazy.

Now there's no secret solution to this.

You've just got to do the work on yourself.

You've got to try and figure out why you're restricting yourself so much, why you're overeating so much and why your relationship with food is not good.

Ok, another reason that you may still be overweight is that you are drinking too much alcohol, simple, plain and simple, too much wine at weekends.

Like you're going crazy or you are eating, you're drinking too much too often.

Like you're drinking four nights a week or you're having a glass of wine every night of the week or maybe you're only eating, drinking twice a week, but you are going mental when you do.

Um, good to look at that.

Really good to look at that.

Not just for weight loss reasons, for other reasons too.

Um, next reason you're eating too many takeaways.

I remember I used to eat two takeaways every weekend.

And then I said to myself, well, I'm only going to have one takeaway and when I stopped eating takeaways, not from a diet point of view.

I don't eat takeaways anymore because I find them unhealthy and I don't like to enjoy my food through takeaways.

It's just a personal decision.

I don't enjoy takeaways anymore, but I used to eat them the whole time and it used to be a real stress reliever for me.

Maybe that's why I don't like to eat them anymore.

It's just bad memories, you know, the delivery guy arriving.

Nobody talked to me, sit down at the dinner, put something on, numb the brain.

I hope there's no ads while I'm eating my Indian takeaway and just forgetting the world for five minutes while I was eating overeating to get relaxed to get that deep breath.

You know, when you get so stuffed and then you're able to breathe and you just go, oh, that was causing me to be overweight.

So, back when I had kind of lost the weight about two years ago, but some of my habits were still different.

I was still about a stone, a half, a stone overweight and I was having my takeaway every week when I got rid of that.

The last bit got rid of it for me.

And I want to be super clear here that you can, of course, enjoy your takeaways.

It's just if you're not enjoying them and you're eating them for the wrong reasons.

And it's another reason to comfort eat and your clothes are tight, dump them.

You won't look back.

Um, yeah.

And my last point about weight loss is you're just going mental at weekends.

Going mental at weekends is unhealthy.

It's not that like, oh, well, I, I've eaten really healthy during the week so I can indulge at the weekends if you're comfort eating.

If you're overeating to me that's being unhealthy.

And I never copped that before.

I never thought for a second when I like there's been so many stages to my health.

So back at the stage where I finally got healthy during the week, but I was still at my, well, I can just do whatever I want at the weekend phase.

I would have a huge dinner on a Friday night, spaghetti bolognaise, loads of garlic bread and then I would eat what I wanted.

Treat wise.

Now that's unhealthy to me because that's overeating.

That is overeating.

That is comfort eating and comfort eating.

If I ever find myself comfort eating, I have a little chat with myself and say you're comfort eating.

What's wrong.

So if you're wondering, you know, how many treats I can have at the weekend, what are the rules around the weekend?

That is still an unhealthy relationship with food, enjoying your meals at the weekends and maybe indulging in a dessert or things that you like, you know, yourself, take your power back.

You know, the story, you know, when you're being unhealthy for, for comfort eating's sake and then, you know, when you're indulging and enjoying yourself and the two things are completely different for me at the weekends.

Now I've lots of tasty food, enjoyable treats and it's done in moderation and it's healthy and I love, it mightn't be classified as healthy, like as in, I have pizza or pasta or whatever I want.

I enjoy it.

I have desserts.

I might have had the same thing three years ago, but in a really unhealthy way eating super fast eating to escape eating for comfort eating.

So, um, you really need to kind of get to know yourself and figure out what works, ok, we're nearly there.

So the reasons why you mightn't be achieving your health and fitness goals yet, why you haven't achieved them yet.

This is why you're, you might find it difficult to embed healthy habits.

You're not making any me time.

So you're not making any time for yourself.

You're not making any time for yourself.

And you're wondering why you're not fit and healthy.

You've got to make me time.

You've got to get it on the calendar and you've got to have nonnegotiable me time or you're not going to get fit and healthy by winging it and putting it last to the bottom of the list.

No, you're going to bed way too late.

It is virtually impossible to get fit and healthy.

How can you show up to your workouts and not eat shite all day if you're absolutely wrecked and I'm not putting any pressure.

I hate those people that tell you, you know, eight hours sleep, eight hours sleep.

As women hormonal fluctuations changes the menopause.

That's not guaranteed but rest.

Getting to bed by 1030 11, reading a few pages of a book, lights out phone off, whatever comes, comes, but allowing us space to rest and have that is really, really important.

You're not getting any downtime So you're stressed out, you're anxious, stress and anxious leads to overeating, eating crap, feeling really bad.

Staying up too late, it all feeds into itself.

So if you're not making any downtime for yourself during the day, 10 minutes with a cup of tea or coffee and a journal, 10 minutes with a good book, 10 minutes sitting on a chair doing nothing.

10 minutes of thrive time.

If you're not doing that, you're making life harder on yourself.

Your stress and anxiety may go up and everything else gets affected negatively.

You have no, you have no boundaries.

That's another reason that you just don't have boundaries.

If somebody calls you, you answer the phone.

If your friend asks to meet you at a time that doesn't suit you, meet them.

If somebody asks you to do something at a time that you'd work out or thrive time scheduled, you do it and you don't have boundaries, which are, which is just so important.

You don't take your health seriously.

That might be another reason.

You're just not taking it seriously.

And maybe you haven't realized you're not taking it seriously.

And maybe right now you're like, oh my God, I just haven't been taking my health seriously.

I haven't been putting it as a priority, but I want it to be a priority.

And the last one, no, the second last one, you're being too hard on yourself.

So you're taking setbacks and challenges way too seriously.

Who cares if you didn't work out for a week, who cares if you didn't eat healthy for a week?

It's ok.

What many of us do is we take that so seriously.

We, we, like, put it on to ourselves.

Like we're failures.

I'm a failure.

I didn't work out all week.

That must mean something that must mean I'm a failure.

Absolutely not.

It just means you didn't work out for a week.

It means life got in the way you're human or you were just particularly demotivated or you had loads of symptoms of the menopause or you were premenstrual, whatever your reasons, you just didn't work out that week.

When you look back over the past year, you're not going to be able to pick out the weeks you didn't work out and they're not important in the grand scheme of things.

Consistency is the ability to get back on track.

So stop being so hard on yourself.

If you have a week where you eat shite or you have a week where you didn't work out or two weeks or a month, it's all about getting back on track.

And the last thing, the last reason why you may not have achieved your fitness and health goals yet is because you don't love yourself.

You don't love yourself.

And when you don't love yourself, you don't make time for yourself.

You have no boundaries.

You don't take your work out seriously.

You don't eat well because you don't love yourself.

And that's the most important.

One of all of the ones I've just spoken about loving yourself.

Do you love yourself?

Do you take, if you don't know if you love yourself or not, then answer this question for me?

Do you take the time to take care of yourself?

If the answer is yes.

The chances are you probably love yourself.

There may be a little bit room for growth there.

But the chances are you're, you're learning to love yourself again.

If you struggle to take care of yourself, if you struggle to make time for yourself, then I put it to you that you may have a self-love issue.

But there may be a little bit of a lack of self-love there.

And rather than looking for the solution in calendars and workout and food, then maybe for you, it's learning how to love yourself again.

And if I can leave you with this one tip that's working for me, we change our thoughts by first off observing them, hearing what we're telling ourselves, challenging them and coming up with a more empowering alternative.

If you're very hard on yourself, if you don't love yourself, the very first step to do is observe your thoughts.

What are you telling yourself on a daily basis?

And it's ok to stay in that phase for a long time, just listening, no pressure.

And then when it feels right, we start to challenge the thought Hang on a second.

I am worthy.

I am worthy.

Hang on a second.

I am enough.

I do deserve me.


I am going to put myself first and over time you'll, you'll start to love yourself and then putting in meantime, and putting in boundaries will become a lot easier.


Well, I hope you've enjoyed this podcast episode.

I have a couple of free resources for you.

So the first one is my five steps to unleashing your fitness and c you can go to Jessica Cook dot IE forward slash unleash and that will give you a five steps, my five step framework to getting fit healthy and feeling great in your clothes.

Again, my next one is if you feel really disorganized and you're not sure where to start, you just feel overwhelmed with the whole fitness and health thing.

You can go to Jessica Cook dot IE tool kit.

That's Jessica Cook dot IE tool kit.

And there you'll find a really great tool kit that will help you organize and structure your week and put in your action steps, your healthy action steps for the week and month ahead.


That's it.

Thank you so much for being here.

All my love to you.

If you wouldn't mind doing me a favor of rating this podcast wherever you are listening to it, I would be forever grateful.

Thank you and have a lovely day.

I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode and you must let me know by getting in touch.

Don't forget you can head on over to Jessica Cook dot IE where you'll find lots of free stuff to get you started on your journey.

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About the author 

Jessica Cooke

I love drinking coffee, and my favourite thing in life (apart from my family) is to help women to get fit and break free from unhealthy habits holding them back. (oh, and also I love playing with my two Miniature Schnauzers, Buster and Ozzy)

I’ve now supported over 6,779 women over 14 years in my Thrive Coaching Program get fit and break free from unhealthy habits!