What’s Normal? Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever wondered if the things you’re going through are normal? That’s what I’m talking about today.
We all experience struggles that can feel isolating, but the truth is, so many of us are in the same boat—especially women like us. I want to talk about what’s really normal, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
1. It’s Normal to Want Junk Food After a Healthy Day
You’ve had the healthiest day—worked out, ate all the right foods, drank loads of water—and then you sit on the couch, and suddenly, all you can think about is eating junk. Sound familiar?
This was me for years. I’d eat something sugary on the couch almost every night of the week, even after the best-intentioned day. Back then, I was also really restrictive, which probably didn’t help.
Even now, even though I don’t give in, I still get those urges sometimes, especially after a stressful or overwhelming day. It’s completely normal. It doesn’t mean you’re failing or that nothing is working—it just means you’re human.
The difference now is that I’ve healed my relationship with myself, and I’ve become more grounded and centered. So while the urge might pop up, I can sit with it and not act on it.
If you’re struggling with this, I want you to know there’s a way out. I promise you, it is possible to change this pattern if you don’t give up.
2. It’s Normal to Never Be in the Mood to Work Out
Let me say this loud and clear: I’ve been a fitness coach since 2008, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually been in the mood to work out.
Yep, five times or less in over 16 years. And even those times were mostly when I was feeling overwhelmed or desperate for change, like after a bad weekend of drinking.
Most of the time, I don’t feel like working out. But I still do it because I’ve made it part of who I am. I plan for it, even though I know I won’t wake up excited to exercise. I set out my workout clothes, and when my alarm goes off, I might groan, but I get up and do it anyway.
Once you accept that you’ll never really feel like working out, it gets so much easier to show up. You stop questioning it and just get on with it. And that consistency is where the magic happens.
3. It’s Normal to Have Relationship Struggles When You’re Changing
When I started to change and grow—letting go of toxic positivity, becoming calmer, learning to stand my ground—it caused a lot of arguments with Joe. We went through a really tough patch.
For years, I was a chronic people-pleaser. I’d keep the peace, avoid confrontation, and silently carry resentment. But as I worked on myself, I started saying how I really felt, setting boundaries, and letting go of the need to fix everything.
That was a big adjustment for Joe. We argued more than ever before, often without even knowing why we were rowing. It was messy and uncomfortable, but it was also necessary for us to grow together.
What helped us was recognising that how we each felt was valid and remembering that we both had good intentions. I’d say, “I’m bringing this up because I want to make things better, not to fight,” and he’d do the same.
If you’re going through a rough patch with someone you love because you’re growing, I want you to know that it’s normal. Keep going—it gets better.
4. It’s Normal to Feel Like Giving Up
There have been so many times in my life where I’ve felt like giving up—on my business, on my fitness, on myself. For me, those feelings usually came from a lack of confidence or self-belief.
I’d have a few bad days in a row and think, “I can’t do this anymore.” But here’s what I’ve learned: those moments don’t mean you’re lazy or unmotivated. They’re just part of the journey.
The only thing you need to do in those moments is refuse to give up. Just keep going. Even when you’re doubting everything, just take the next step.
When I look back, I realise that every time I didn’t give up, I grew stronger and more confident. And now, I’m in a place where I absolutely love what I do. But I wouldn’t be here if I’d given up during the hard times.
5. It’s Normal to Hate Going-Out Clothes
Here’s a fun one: I hate going-out clothes. I hate heels, glittery tops, skirts, dresses—all of it.
For years, I’d wear those kinds of clothes because I thought I had to. And every time, I’d feel awful. I thought it was me, but it wasn’t—it was the clothes.
Now, I stick to what I love: smart jeans, a blazer, flats. I feel so much better in my own skin when I dress in a way that feels like me.
If you hate getting dressed up for nights out, it’s worth asking yourself: do you actually dislike going out? Or do you just hate the clothes you’re wearing?
Dress in a way that feels good to you. Forget what anyone else thinks.
6. It’s Normal to Feel Stuck
At the start of this year, I felt really stuck. I knew I wanted to help women feel calm and centred while getting fit, but I wasn’t sure how to bring that vision to life.
I was out of alignment, uncertain of my next step, and still finding my feet in some areas of my life. It was an uncomfortable place to be, but looking back, it was necessary.
When you feel stuck, the key is to ground yourself in the practices that help you move forward: exercise, silence, journaling, and reflection.
It’s in those quiet moments that the answers come. Ideas and clarity don’t come when we’re overwhelmed or scattered. They come when we’re calm and intentional.
If you’re feeling stuck right now, know that it’s normal. The answers will come—you just need to create the space to hear them.
Let’s Stay Connected
I hope this resonated with you. If it did, I’d love for you to share it with a friend who might need to hear it.
And if you’re looking for tools to help you get started on your own journey, check out my free resources:
- The Blueprint: A guide to help you take the first steps toward calm and fitness. Download it here.
- The Playlist: A curated list of podcast episodes tailored to what you need most. Find it here.
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All my love,
Jessica Cooke