Today, I’m diving into a topic that I know many of you will relate to—how to make fitness a part of your life when you absolutely hate exercise.
This is such a common challenge, especially among women over 40, and it's one we’re going to explore deeply in today’s podcast episode.
I recently received an email from a lovely lady named Evelyn, who shared her struggle with incorporating exercise into her life. I think Evelyn’s story will resonate with many of you, and I’m thrilled to unpack it today to give her—and all of you—a roadmap to overcome this challenge.
Here’s Evelyn’s letter:
"Dear Jessica,
I love your podcast and find your advice for women over 40 really relatable. I’m 62 and have spent most of my life avoiding exercise. Honestly, I’ve just never liked it. The thought of going to a gym or running doesn’t appeal to me, and I always seem to come up with excuses not to start.
The thing is, I know I need to make changes for my health. I can feel my energy dropping as I get older and I want to be able to keep up with my grandkids. I also want to feel stronger and more capable in my body. But every time I think about starting an exercise routine, I feel overwhelmed and unmotivated. I would love your advice on how I can begin to introduce movement into my life that doesn’t feel like a punishment. How do I find something that I actually enjoy and can stick with?
Thank you for everything you do. Your voice is truly encouraging for women like me who feel like it’s too late to start over.
Best wishes, Evelyn."
Oh, Evelyn, what a fantastic email.
I’m so excited to dig into this because your concerns are completely valid, and guess what? You’re not alone! So many women feel exactly the same way about exercise, and the good news is, it’s never too late to start.
Let’s break this down:
1. Focus on Your Why
First of all, your goals are absolutely amazing.
You want to keep up with your grandkids and feel stronger and more capable in your body. Isn’t that what it’s all about? That’s the reason I love working out—not for the way I look, but for the way it makes me feel.
When you feel strong and capable in your body, you’ll find that you feel stronger and more capable in life. You’ll be able to handle challenges with more confidence and energy. It’s such a powerful motivator.
And Evelyn, I love that you haven’t mentioned weight loss as your reason for wanting to get fit. That’s so important. The desire to “lose weight” rarely sustains long-term motivation.
If you focus on strength, energy, and the ability to enjoy your life fully, especially with those little grandkids, it becomes a much deeper and more meaningful reason to keep moving.
2. The Overwhelm of Starting
You mentioned that every time you think about starting an exercise routine, you feel overwhelmed and unmotivated. That’s such a common barrier.
The first thing I want to ask you—and this is something I ask all my clients—is, what comes up for you when you think about exercising?
Close your eyes and think about it for a moment.
Is it the memory of trying something in the past that felt too hard?
Is it the fear of getting out of breath, or pushing yourself too far?
For many women, it’s the fear of discomfort, or the sense that they’ll fail again if they try.
Overwhelm often stems from unrealistic expectations. Maybe, like so many of us, you’ve jumped into a fitness routine with an all-or-nothing mindset, thinking you need to go all out from day one.
You push yourself too hard, get disheartened when it feels impossible to maintain, and then the cycle of quitting starts all over again. Sound familiar?
Here’s the truth: It doesn’t have to be that way.
You don’t need to go hell for leather to see progress, and in fact, starting gently and focusing on consistency over intensity will give you far better results.
Fitness is a journey, not a sprint.
3. Building Strong Foundations
Let’s talk about the foundations. I always say, you can’t build a house on shaky foundations.
If you’ve ever found yourself falling off the exercise wagon, it’s probably because the foundation of your routine was unstable.
If the thought of exercise makes you feel stressed or anxious, that’s your body telling you that you’ve pushed too hard in the past.
And if you’ve associated exercise with punishment, it’s no wonder you’re struggling to get started again.
Exercise should never feel like something you have to endure. So, how do we fix this? By changing your approach completely.
4. Workouts That Don’t Overwhelm
One of the quickest ways to overwhelm yourself during exercise is by getting out of breath. This is especially true if you’ve ever experienced anxiety, as the sensation of being out of breath can trigger stress and discomfort.
You don’t need to feel like you're gasping for air to get a good workout.
Start slow. Make sure you can always hold a conversation while you’re exercising, particularly in the beginning.
This simple rule will help you avoid pushing yourself too hard, too fast. The goal is to enjoy the movement, not to feel like you’re struggling through it.
The same goes for lifting weights. Many women think they need to start heavy, but that’s simply not true. 3kg dumbbells are perfect for beginners.
You’ll know you’ve chosen the right weight when the last couple of reps in your set feel challenging, but not impossible. If you’re struggling on rep four or five, your weights are too heavy, and it’s no wonder you’re not feeling motivated!
5. Be Realistic with Results
One major pitfall for people starting out is expecting results too quickly. We put so much pressure on ourselves to see instant changes, and when we don’t, we feel deflated.
Let me tell you something: if you work out consistently three times a week, you WILL get fit. It’s science.
The key is to focus on the action—getting your workouts in—rather than constantly measuring results. Results will come, but you’ll drive yourself mad if you’re only focused on the outcome.
Trust the process. Enjoy the journey, and celebrate the small wins along the way.
6. It’s OK to Hate Certain Exercises
Evelyn, I love that you mentioned hating the gym and running. And I have to say—that’s OK!
In fact, I totally relate to that. I’m a fitness coach, but I can’t stand running, and I find gyms completely soulless.
If running and the gym don’t appeal to you, then you don’t have to force yourself to do them. There are SO many other ways to move your body.
What about working out from home? It’s a brilliant option that I think many women, especially over 40, are turning to because of the convenience, flexibility, and privacy it offers.
When you work out at home, you can exercise in your pyjamas if you like! You can blast your favourite music, go at your own pace, and no one’s there to judge you.
The flexibility is fantastic, especially if you’re juggling a busy schedule or simply prefer to exercise in a private, comfortable space
7. Start Small and Build the Habit
Here’s the thing: at the start of your fitness journey, the most important thing isn’t the length or intensity of your workout—it’s the habit of showing up.
I always recommend starting with 10-minute workouts, three times a week.
Yes, just 10 minutes. Why? Because it’s manageable, it’s realistic, and it gets you into the habit of moving regularly without feeling overwhelmed.
Over time, you’ll find it easier to increase the duration and intensity, but in the beginning, it’s all about creating that routine.
Get your workout gear ready the night before and build a routine that fits into your life seamlessly.
8. Celebrate Your Wins
Finally, Evelyn, you must celebrate your wins!
When you finish a workout—whether it’s 10 minutes or 30—pat yourself on the back.
Tell your family about it. Be proud of yourself for showing up.
That’s how you start to shift your mindset from dreading exercise to actually enjoying it.
Final Thoughts
Evelyn, and to all the women out there who feel like it’s too late to start or that they’ll never enjoy exercise—remember, it’s all about mindset and approach.
You don’t have to love running or the gym, and you don’t have to push yourself to exhaustion.
Find what works for you, start small, build the habit, and most importantly—enjoy the journey.
As a woman over 60, lifting weights, focusing on core strength, and low-impact interval training will be your best friends. This approach will keep you strong, capable, and full of energy for many years to come. So, start slow, be consistent, and trust that your fitness will improve—because it will.
Let’s make fitness a regular, enjoyable part of your life. A joy, not a chore!
Enjoyed the Episode?
I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway—share it on social media and tag me @jessicacooke. And if this episode helped you, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it means so much! You can also share your thoughts on this episode in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you.
All my love,
Jessica Cooke