Hey, welcome back to the Jessica Cooke podcast! I’m so excited to have you here for episode 226. Thanks for tuning in!
Today I’m diving into a topic that so many of you have shared with me: feeling like fear and exhaustion are holding you back from becoming fit and healthy.
This podcast is your space. Every week, I encourage you to write in with the challenges you're facing, and together we’ll tackle those barriers. I’ll help you reset, maybe shift your mindset, so you can continue on your journey.
Before we dive into Karen's letter, I just want to say how much I cherish this time with you. Whether you’re in your car, out for a walk, cleaning, or just sitting down, I’m thinking of you. I love how this podcast cuts through the noise and feels like it’s just us, working together.
And hey, if you’d like me to read your challenge or share some thoughts, feel free to connect with me on Instagram or drop me an email at jessica@jessicacooke.ie.
Now, let’s dive into Karen’s letter because it’s something I know so many of us can relate to.
"Hi Jessica. Fear and exhaustion are getting in the way of me becoming fit and healthy. I'm really starting to feel the challenges of being 48 and menopausal. I really want to exercise but something inside stops me. My husband, who is very fit, wants me to do a 5k with him in November, and I'm scared. I’m almost stopping myself from even trying. Exhaustion is a combination of a busy job, an autistic teenager, dodgy thyroid, and menopause, I think."
Karen, thank you so much for writing in, and let me start by saying: I completely understand where you're coming from. You are not alone in feeling this way, and I’m excited to help you work through these challenges.
First, let’s address exhaustion, then we’ll move on to the fear aspect. I’m going to give you solutions for both so that you can move forward on your journey to becoming fit and healthy. Let’s get rid of those barriers one step at a time!
Step 1: Acceptance
The very first thing we need to do, Karen, is practice acceptance around the things we can’t change. You mentioned menopause and a thyroid condition, and while it’s frustrating, these are realities that you have to live with. Of course, I’m sure you’re seeing a doctor, but the menopause and thyroid issues are here to stay for now.
I know this can feel so disheartening—trust me, I’ve been there—but acceptance is key. When we accept the things we can’t control, like menopause or our thyroid, we free up mental space to focus on the things we can control. Otherwise, we waste so much energy being frustrated about circumstances that won’t change.
It’s easier said than done, but once you accept that these factors are part of your current reality, you’ll be able to shift your focus to what you can do about the situation.
Step 2: Identify What You Can Fix
Now let’s talk about exhaustion. With everything you’ve got going on—a busy job, caring for an autistic teenager, menopause, and a thyroid condition—no wonder you’re exhausted. But we need to figure out where we can win some of your time back and get you rested.
Here’s where boundaries and delegation come into play.
Are there things in your family life that you could delegate to your husband or kids? I know it can feel easier to just do everything yourself, but over time, if you coach your family to help, it’ll make a big difference. Maybe your husband can take over some tasks or your kids can pitch in. Start small, but make it consistent.
What about work boundaries?
Do you bring work home with you—like checking emails after hours or thinking about it constantly? It might be worth setting some limits around when you engage with work. Trust me, when you’re constantly in “work mode,” it feels like life is passing by. Find ways to cut down on how much headspace work takes up.
Remember, Karen, you need to feel rested before you can expect to build healthy habits on top of your busy life. If you’re running on empty, adding workouts and meal plans will just feel overwhelming. So first, reclaim some time and energy for yourself.
Step 3: Addressing What’s Draining You
Next, let’s dive deeper into what’s making you feel unrested. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that leave us feeling drained.
- Nutrition: Are you eating foods that energize you, or are you loading up on sugar and processed foods? I know from experience that poor nutrition can make you feel sluggish and cranky. When I used to snack on biscuits or desserts at night, I’d wake up the next morning feeling awful, no matter how much sleep I got.
- Sleep: Are you staying up late? If you’re staying up just to claw back some “me time” after a busy day, that’s a real warning sign that something’s out of balance.
- Technology: Are you scrolling through your phone late at night? That habit not only eats up your time but also affects your sleep and leaves you feeling irritable and tired the next day.
- Alcohol: If you’re having a few drinks on the weekend, it can take days to fully recover. Even if you don’t drink much, alcohol can significantly affect your energy levels.
We need to simplify your life, Karen.
Look at your routines—morning, evening, work. Are there areas where you can streamline things? For example, batch-making lunches after dinner or getting organized with a weekly meal plan can free up so much mental energy. Simplify where you can, so you don’t feel rushed and overwhelmed all the time.
Step 4: Simplify Your Routine
Before we even start talking about workouts or meal plans, we need to get your daily routine under control. Look at your calendar—where can you reclaim some time for yourself? Where can you cut back on things that aren’t serving you?
Once you have a clearer routine, then we can start focusing on adding healthy habits like workouts. I encourage my clients to start small: three 20-30 minute workouts per week, focusing on strength, cardio, and core. That’s exactly what you need as a woman over 40.
When you’ve simplified your routine and started integrating these workouts, you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel. But again, it’s about getting that foundation right first.
Step 5: Tackling Fear
Now, let’s talk about fear. You mentioned being scared to try the 5K with your husband in November. It’s completely natural to feel this way, but here’s the thing: don’t let fear stop you. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Fear of failure often holds us back, but you have to ask yourself—how much is this fear really helping you? We all experience setbacks, but the key is to keep going. It’s only when you quit that you’re truly back at square one.
The more you chase your goals, the more you’ll experience those uncomfortable feelings of failure. And guess what? That’s okay. It means you’re growing. Sit with those feelings, breathe, and let them wash over you. Failure isn’t the end—it’s part of the journey.
Final Thoughts
Karen, you’ve got this. Focus on the action steps, not the outcome. It’s not about running the perfect 5K or having a flawless routine. It’s about showing up for yourself, day after day, and being kind and compassionate to yourself along the way.
So, to sum it up:
- Accept what you can’t control.
- Reclaim your time through boundaries and delegation.
- Simplify your routines to feel less rushed and more in control.
- Focus on action steps, not outcomes.
Remember, the journey to being fit and healthy isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. Keep going, and don’t let fear stop you.
I’m rooting for you, Karen!
Enjoyed the Episode?
I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway—share it on social media and tag me @jessicacooke. And if this episode helped you, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it means so much! You can also share your thoughts on this episode in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you.
All my love,
Jessica Cooke