If you’ve ever felt like Claire – waking up feeling behind before the day has even started, hitting snooze multiple times, and rushing through chaotic mornings – you are not alone.
I’m Jessica Cooke, and in today’s post, we’re going to tackle exactly that! Let’s talk about how you can reclaim your mornings, feel energised, and start your day with a positive mindset – even if you’ve got kids, a full-time job, and feel like life is taking over.
Claire’s Struggle Is a Common One
Claire wrote to me about her struggle with getting out of bed in the morning.
She’s 40, works full-time, has two kids to care for, and like so many of us, she’s feeling overwhelmed. The mornings are chaotic, she’s feeling sluggish, and she’s uncomfortable in her own skin. There’s just this general sense that everything is out of control.
Sound familiar?
There’s this cycle we can fall into, especially as women over 40, where everything in life just feels like a constant sprint – from the moment we wake up to the moment we collapse into bed.
We’re caretakers, breadwinners, trying to manage a million things at once, and somewhere along the way, we lose ourselves in the shuffle.
But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be this way.
You don’t need to feel like your mornings are running you instead of the other way around. In fact, creating a simple, manageable morning routine can completely shift the way you feel, not just about your mornings, but about your life in general.
In this post, I'm diving deep into the common challenge of struggling to get out of bed in the morning and how we can reverse engineer a solution.
By the end of this, I want you to feel reset, refreshed, and back on the right path. Let’s get to it.
Step 1: Meet Yourself with Kindness and Compassion
The first thing I want you to do, is to meet yourself with kindness.
You’re busy. You’re a full-time worker, raising two kids, and managing a home. It’s a lot! You’re doing the best you can with the resources available to you right now. I want you to be proud of yourself for striving to get fit and healthy because striving means you care. If you didn’t care about your fitness or being a good role model for your kids, these barriers and setbacks wouldn’t be coming up at all.
You’re facing challenges because you’re working toward becoming healthier, and that’s a good sign! Challenges are part of the process, so always meet them with kindness and compassion.
Step 2: Establish Solid Foundations Before Setting Goals
Now, before we dive into organising your morning routine, let’s reverse engineer this a bit.
One of the core principles I teach in my coaching program is the importance of building solid foundations. You can't build lasting habits on shaky ground. Imagine building a house without a solid base—it’ll crumble no matter how much effort you put into it.
What does this look like in real life? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and like you have no boundaries, these are the shaky foundations that need attention first.
So ask yourself, 'What does being healthy mean to me?'
Before deciding on a routine, get clear on what you're aiming for. I always do this exercise with my clients—picture your future self. How do you look? How do you feel? What’s your energy like? How many days are you working out?
This clarity is essential because your future self is your guiding star.
Step 3: Get Organised Before Taking Action
Now, here’s the real deal. So many people jump straight into action because they’re busy and feel the need to “just do it.” But without being organised, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You have to stop winging it!
Get organised first. I recommend using tools like Asana (a project management tool I personally love and it’s free). Or, if you're more comfortable, a Google Calendar works just as well.
Start by mapping out your week—Monday to Sunday. Begin by filling in the non-negotiables like your kids' football practice, work hours, and any fixed appointments.
After that, think about household chores. They are a never-ending cycle, but we can structure them too. Consider putting deep cleaning tasks in your calendar, or even better, if you can swing it, hire a cleaner. Having someone come in every couple of weeks for tasks like scrubbing the shower or cleaning the oven can be a game changer.
Next, rope in your husband. Get him involved in the daily routine. What can he take off your plate? Could he be in charge of putting out the bins or cooking dinner a few times a week? Delegation is key to lightening your load.
Step 4: Plan Meals in Advance
Food is another area that can eat up a lot of your time and energy.
Can you plan your meals for the week? Do one big food shop and plan your dinners, lunches, and breakfasts for five out of the seven days.
You mentioned you struggle with breakfast—here’s a tip: overnight oats. They’re quick, delicious, and perfect if you’re always on the go. Just prep them the night before, and you’re good to go in the morning.
When it comes to kids' lunches, make them the night before while you’re doing dinner cleanup. It’s a small step, but it takes a big task off your morning plate.
Step 5: Create Boundaries and Routines Around Nighttime
Once the kitchen is clean and the kids are in bed, it’s time to wind down. Create a strict lights-out routine for the kids.
My kids are in their rooms by 9 PM, and they spend that last bit of time drawing or reading. This way, they’re winding down without distractions.
As for yourself, once the kitchen is closed, don’t allow any more tasks to creep in. Sit down, relax, and enjoy that downtime.
Really work on not staying up too late because staying up late brings nothing but crankiness and sugar cravings the next day. If you find yourself staying up too late, ask yourself...'why?'
Sometimes, we stay up late because we’re avoiding the next day—maybe because of stress or unhappiness with our routine. Figure out why you're staying up late and fix it.
When it’s time to go to bed, switch your phone to airplane mode, grab a book, and let your mind wind down. And remember, don’t pressure yourself to fall asleep. Just focus on resting.
Step 6: Build Your Morning Routine Incrementally
Now we’re ready to focus on your morning routine.
Start small. Don’t try to overhaul your mornings all at once. Begin by waking up just 10 minutes earlier than usual. Get up, make a cup of coffee, and sit down with a pen and paper. Ask yourself, 'What’s the intention for today?'
It’s a simple act but incredibly powerful. Do this Monday to Friday, and eventually, it will become a habit. Once you’ve got the 10 minutes down, increase it to 30 minutes three times a week. Then, slowly integrate activities like journaling, breath work, or simply sitting in silence.
After that, you can start working in your morning workouts—three times a week for 20 minutes. Combine that with your quiet time, and you’ll have a solid 30-minute morning routine that sets you up for success.
Wrapping It All Up
Before you know it, you’ll have established a morning routine that works for you.
You’ll be working out three times a week, practicing mindfulness, and starting your days with intention. But it all starts with reverse engineering—meeting yourself with kindness, getting organised, building solid foundations, and creating sustainable habits.
Your health and wellness journey is a process, so be patient and stay the course. You've got this!
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All my love,
Jessica Cooke