Mindset and Confidence, Weight loss

Do You Often Feel Bad on a Monday? Like You’re Going Around in a Never Ending loop?

 I used to wake up on a Monday morning and feel so bad about myself. I was sick and tired of yo-yo-ing with my weight, I was sick and tired of feeling unfit and unhealthy, and it used to just drive me crazy. You know that circular feeling, Friday, you feel okay, Monday, you feel so bad. Well, if you haven’t experienced it, it’s really horrible, and that was me for such a long time. So I wanted to talk to you today about your habits, goal setting and you getting set up for feeling really good before the holidays, because you’ve still got time.

(I created a Free Mastery Habits Checklist for you which you can grab here)

If you’re not exactly where you want to be, you still have time before Christmas comes along. I think there’s something like 40 days or 39 days till Christmas now, so if there’s anything that’s bothering you, or you had a goal in 2022 that you want to get fit and feel good in your clothes and you’re not quite there yet, then let’s get cracking with that.

So the very first thing to think about switching is switching your focus from that awful goal of weight loss to instead asking yourself what habits could you change, because you are your habits, and if you’re overweight, it just means that you’ve got some little habit going on there that’s making you gain weight or you’re not doing a habit. So take the pressure off and rather than ask yourself, “How much weight can I lose? Have I lost weight today?”

Say, “you know what actually? I’m going to focus on being a fit and healthy person, and I’m going to focus on somebody that has fit and healthy action steps.”

So what could I do this week, starting Monday, to make me feel good and fit and healthy? And start from there. It might be as simple as, depending on where you’re at now, let’s say you do nothing, you could say to yourself, “well, I’m going to walk most days this week, I’m not going to have any shyte after dinner and I’m going to drink two litres of water”.

I absolutely promise you, by the time you get to Friday, you will be feeling a whole lot different to what you’re feeling now, if you’re not feeling good about it now… and the lovely thing about it is, if you don’t get on the weighing scales and you don’t get obsessive about weight loss and you don’t weigh yourself on Friday, you’re going to feel that lovely win, you’re going to feel so proud of yourself.

And from that feeling, you’re going to gain a little bit of momentum that you don’t get when you’re hopping on and off the scales, because that’s just awful, it makes you feel bad, feel good, feel bad, feel good.

There’s no sense of control or feeling good with the weighing scales, but there is when you just focus on your action steps. So ask yourself this morning, if you’re feeling sluggish, if you’re feeling tired, if you overdid it at the weekend, if your clothes are tight, if you’re not where you want to be, instead of giving out about it or thinking really negatively about yourself, just say, “right, it’s Monday, it’s only another day of the week. What can I do today to make myself feel good?”

(I created a Free Mastery Habits Checklist for you which you can grab here)

 

I’m telling you guys, if you’ve had a big weekend or you’ve been out and you’ve had drinks, just get the water into you and do some exercise and bonus, stay off anything crap, food-wise today, and you wake up tomorrow and you’ll just feel like you are on that success train, and that’s it.

Focus on your healthy action steps, work at being healthy and consistent most of the time, don’t be annoyed with yourself if you have nights out, that’s not you being off, that’s you living your life, and I promise you, you’ll feel so good. And going into winter with the rain and the cold nights and the dark nights, you’re just setting yourself up like a superhero, ready for battle, ready to face setbacks, challenges, difficulties that come your way.

That’s something that I never used to think about before, it was all physical for me, I worked out and I tried to eat healthy because I wanted to feel good in my clothes, and that was for me, a massive importance, and now it’s like, no, you want to be like a superhero, you want to go into every day feeling like you’ve got muscles on your body, that you’re eating healthy, priming yourself for successes, for challenges, for making you the best version of you so you can enjoy this wonderful life.

(I created a Free Mastery Habits Checklist for you which you can grab here)

 

And I’ve been really unhealthy, and being really unhealthy is tough going, and I have such massive empathy for people that feel really unhealthy because you’re tired, you’re sluggish, you walk around just literally thinking you look like shite, you’re constantly feeling how uncomfortable your clothes are, it’s a 24/7 thing in your mind.

I find, it’s actually easier to dedicate 30 minutes a few times a week to working out, drinking water and working on not getting the instant gratification that overeating gives you, which took me a long time to do that one because, as I’ve shared here before, I’ve been a massive comfort eater, any emotion, celebration, sadness, happiness, that was me…I’d eat.

I just used to always overeat, but thankfully now, because I worked on it, it’s done. So this is to you, if you’re not feeling so great this morning, if you overdid it at the weekend, or if you feel like you’re back to square one or you’re just feeling sluggish and tired and uncomfortable in your clothes, take the pressure off, go and have a great day, and while you’re having a great day, ask yourself, “what are the healthy action steps I can do today?” And forget about the rest, and I promise you, come Friday, you’ll be feeling absolutely terrific.

 I’ve actually created for you all a healthy habits checklist. I spent a good bit of time on it, so you must let me know what you think about it, it’s every single healthy action step I take in my life to feel really good.

Have a wonderful morning and let’s get out and smash this day, because we don’t need permission to go and have a great day, or we don’t need to go into it feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, no, we can just do our best, take breaks when we want them, maybe plan a lovely evening tonight so you have something to look forward to, like a movie night or a board game night, have a bit of fun.

Give yourself permission to take extra breaks today because you can still be super productive while still living your best life. 

Big love to you today,

jessica Cooke X

P.S. Are you on Insta? Say hi!

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Mental Health, Mindset and Confidence

Are Your Perfectionist Tendencies Holding You Back?

I want to talk to you in this blog post about perfectionism and how much it can hold you back… and how, as women, we are so hard on ourselves and because of this we can sometimes stop progressing forward and we can be our own worst enemy. 

And I am such a culprit. I have been such a culprit of perfectionism in the past and not even understanding or knowing that it was perfectionism that was holding me back. You see, that’s the thing with perfectionism, you sometimes don’t even know what it is. And I had a really outdated opinion of what I thought perfectionism was. I always thought perfectionism was somebody who was so into the detail of something and they didn’t finish it or hand it up until it was done.

That was what I thought perfectionism was, and it is a little bit, for some people, but because I thought that’s what it was, I never realised how much perfectionism was showing up in my life.

(Are you receiving my Newsletter every week? Get my motivational tips straight to your inbox , I pack a much as I can into this! Yes, please add me!)

I was thinking, ‘Jessica, there’s no way you’re a perfectionist. You wouldn’t spend hours and hours and hours on one essay trying to get it absolutely perfectly right and then hand it up. That’s not me at all. I, in that situation, aim at doing as good as I can, and then just hand it up.’ 

But perfectionism can show up in ways that you don’t expect until you truly reflect on your behaviour. Let’s take your fitness health for an example. You’re working at losing weight and you’re working out, you’re drinking water and you’re eating healthy. And let’s say you’re also comfort eating on the couch at nighttime. Now, for some people, perfectionism can show up there when they say to themselves, “I am so down and so bothered about my food. What is the point of exercise? What’s the point of doing anything, if not everything is perfect?”

That’s perfectionism showing up in your life and preventing you from getting really good benefits from your workouts, drinking water, eating healthy, because you think everything has to be all going right, all at the same time. Now, many, many women do that. That’s why that expression, all or nothing, is so popular.

So many people describe themselves as that. Actually, it’s you not thinking that that’s good enough for now, that every single thing has to be absolutely correct. When actually, the person that’s getting on with their exercise, drinking water and allowing themselves to still be comfort eating, while they’re exercising and doing all the other healthy stuff, is the person that’s going to progress much faster. Yet the person that has been comfort eating and has stopped exercising because of that, is probably looking at that other person going, “What are you doing? Why are you exercising when you don’t even have the food in order?”

And that is where the problem lies. And that is where, as women, we can hold ourselves back so much from progressing. Have you ever looked back on your life and you’re doing a project or something and you just go, “No, no, no, no, not now. I need to study more. I need to get another course under my belt. I need to have all this correct.” That’s perfectionism showing up. Once you become aware of it… Well, I can only say what helped me. Once I became aware of it, I started to do things that I didn’t really think I was good enough at doing because I hadn’t A, B, C, D, sorted yet. But then I realised there’s two versions of me competing in a race. One, the me who lives in my head, thinking, ruminating.. and the other me, the action taker… who’s going to win?

What I found really helpful too, when I was dealing with perfectionism and working at getting rid of it, was, look at it from somebody that doesn’t know you’s point of view, that they’re looking at you and all they’re seeing is you doing nothing because the rest of it is in your head. And once I thought of it like that, it blew my mind, “Oh my God, I look like I’m doing nothing, when actually in my head I’m really caring so much, but that’s not coming across. It looks like I’m doing absolutely nothing.” So once you know this, for me anyway, I couldn’t unknow it. So you start to go, “Oh my God, I’m doing nothing. If it’s to do with perfectionism, that means I’m waiting for all these things to happen. God, I’m doing nothing.” So I hope you found that helpful.

One simple tip to take away the next time you are wondering if your perfectionism is showing up. is to imagine you’re a stranger, watching you. What do they see? Do they see someone taking loads of action or doing nothing? Do they see someone writing down loads of plans but not acting on any of it?

Are you literally doing nothing, and living in your head? Do you think you’re doing nothing but actually you’re just over-thinking?

Remember that all progress is good.  Taking action is better than doing nothing.

I used to exercise, drink water and eat healthy. I also used to comfort eat. I would comfort eat if I was happy, if I was celebrating, if I felt stressed, if I felt sad.

And that always made my weight fluctuate. And it wouldn’t matter how many workouts I did or the healthy eating plan that I would be on, that I would be eating or the water that I drank, it didn’t make a difference. My weight was constantly fluctuating. I was always gaining or losing weight, but throughout that time I was still healthy and I was fit. So just in terms of your fitness and your health, and if you’re working at losing weight, remember that you don’t need to be doing everything really well, that you can work out and have bad food or food that you’re not happy with, and you can be eating great and skipping your workouts.

But you know what? If you workout through that time, through the unhealthy thing that you’re doing, then when you have that cracked, all your lovely other healthy stuff will be lovely and in alignment.

I hope you enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts below.

(Are you receiving my Newsletter every week? Get my motivational tips straight to your inbox , I pack a much as I can into this! Yes, please add me!)

Jessica Cooke X

P.S. Take action and move forward X

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