The secret to improved confidence in yourself

I used to think confidence was how you appeared to other people. I know that’s not true anymore.

Confidence is something that we all want a bit more of. It makes everything much easier when you have confidence, but it’s not something which can be switched on or off, which is annoying.

You can’t just decide to be confident one day you wake up. It takes time. It takes time to repair all the damage you’ve done to your self-esteem, with the negative self-talk you give yourself.confidence

I used to feel really in awe of women who appeared to be really confident. I judged how confident they were by how they acted in public, or what the wore, or how they spoke. And I realise now that that’s not a reflection of confidence at all.

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It’s an unfounded way to judge how confident someone is.

What I’ve really learned that coming across confident, and having an inner strength and belief in yourself, are two very different things.

Now that might be so simple to some of you reading this, but it’s taken me a while to learn this.

A perfect outside image, does not mean the person on the inside is particularly confident, or that they have belief in themselves and their values.

Working on yourself takes a long time and recognising, that actually, your confidence in yourself is bad, you’re your worst critique, is liberating.

It has allowed me to realise that I’m not as bad as I have been telling myself. In every negative situation that happens, I have twisted it, and found a way to use it to beat myself with, and tell myself how crap at everything I am. That YES, this negative thing that’s just happened PROVES that all along I’m a fraud! I’m crap at what I do! I am stupid!

OK so now I’ve a starting point. I can start to work on that, as opposed to before, when I would not even realise I was doing it!

This year I’ve grown a thicker skin… about time. This year, I’ve stood my ground. I’ve stood by my belief system and I’m clear on what I stand for, and against. If you don’t like me, that’s OK. I’m here to serve our members, love my family and work hard. I’m not here to please people.

That’s such a high mindset shift to accept that you’re not here to please people. You’ll be forever liberated when you stop trying to please people, and just do what you do, to the best of your capabilities.

If you can relate to this, try it. Stop pleasing people. Listen to how you talk to others, and how you act.

Are you always over-compensating? Do you work hard 24/7 to make sure everyone is happy with you? Do you always put someones experience first in interactions you have? Do you believe in yourself? Like, truly believe in yourself?

Some of our members at Inspire Fitness are really, truly confident, and it’s really inspiring to talk to them. They’ve no air or graces, they work hard, and they know it. They’re kind to everyone, straight talkers, and they don’t try to please people.

It’s amazing, and what we should all aspire to in 2017.

The best way to live your life, is to be authentic in your actions, and do what you say you will do. Everything after that is just dribble.

Here’s to an amazing 2017 🙂

Jessica Cooke







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Jessica Cooke

Jessica has inspired hundreds of women to achieve and maintain their health & fitness goals at her two private training studios in Galway City.

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