Overweight and Running A Fitness Studio.
It’s no secret that last year was a very tough year for me.
I had our second baby Emily, in April of last year, the morning after we moved into our new home. We had no furniture for the first few weeks when she was home, no hot water, and it was a living hell. We re-located Inspire Fitness to the tuam rd, after having been in Barna for four years, (we outgrew Barna), two weeks after Emily was born.
I was diagnosed with post-natal depression, about 3 months after she was born.
It was a pretty hellish year. I felt so stressed, I was afraid I was going to die of a heart attack, or a stroke. I got frequent heart palpitations, and that panicky feeling came back full throttle. I used to suffer from panic attacks before I got into exercise, I couldn’t believe I was backtracking, after having beat them.
Stuck for tonight's dinner?
Why not try my current favourite recipe? It's nutritious, fat-burning, and ready in 10 minutes.
Enter your details for immediate access >>
Emily and Arthur have a 14 month age gap, so there was no rest, no head space. I went back to work four weeks after she was born. I had no choice. There was a delay in getting the studio open, so it opened at the worst possible time. We had the wrong team in place, team members who weren’t as passionate about the cause, as I needed them to be.
My fitness, health and diet took a massive hit.
So I have struggled big time.
I have struggled, up until recently, to lose weight and get fit again. I gained two dress sizes AFTER having Emily. It wasn’t that I was eating lots of junk food, I was eating way too much, and not exercising at the levels I used to. Oh my god, I felt so fat and useless. Here I was empowering women, yet I felt so gross about myself. I felt like a complete and utter failure.
A part of it was fooling myself, and the other half was stress, and letting work take over. I turned to food for comfort. I ignored the tightness of my jeans, and justified things to myself. It really hit me a few months ago, when I saw photos of myself at an event. I have never in my life felt so so bad about myself. A complete and utter failure.
I upped the workouts, and got real with the food. I started being honest with myself, and taking accountability for my actions. The team at Inspire Fitness have been great too, so encouraging and helpful.
So here I am, a dress size down, feeling better, able to look at myself in the mirror again, without wanting to cry at what I see looking back at me.
I have self-worth again, I feel like myself again, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m getting back to me. I feel fit, healthy and strong. I have my confidence and self-belief back, which is more important than anything else.
I wanted to share this with you as I think it’s important to get the message out there. It’s OK to not be perfect. It’s OK to fail, as long as you don’t quit. It’s OK to feel bad, as long as you work at fixing it.
If you feel bad, it’s OK, I’ve got your back. It won’t be like that forever if you do something about it.
Love Jessica xx