When you’ve got low self-esteem, your sub-conscious is always going to find ways to tear yourself down. The perfect way to do this is to constantly strive for perfection. That way you can beat yourself up on a regular basis, and constantly tell yourself that yes, you’re all the things you tell yourself you are, because look, you’re failing to meet the standards you set yourself.
I alway though perfectionists were people who were turned outwardly ‘perfect’. Perfectly done make up, hair and pristine perfect clothes 100% of the time. So it threw me off the scent. But that’s not accurate at all! It’s what you particularly hold value to. So maybe you don’t place much value on clothes and make up, but you place really high value elsewhere. We’re all different and we value things differently. What’s really important to me to get right, may not be important to you.
So perfectionism can come in many forms. Is your day spent pleasing people, trying to make everyone happy? Do you place massive high standards on your work, and use it as a stick to beat yourself with? Does your house have to be constantly perfectly clean? Your car? There are just so many ways you can be a perfectionist, and its much more sinister and damaging to your esteem, than many think it is.
When you’ve got low self-esteem, you’re always looking for ways to prove yourself right and say ‘I told you’. See that proves how bad I am. You believe even more that you’re not good. This cycle goes on and on and on.
It often means if you’re like this, you find it hard to relax. You don’t ‘allow’ yourself a bit of time off, mental or otherwise. You feel guilty for having a laugh, guilty for taking it easy, guilty for not giving everything 100%, all of the time. Sundays are awful, you’ve a feeling of dread because you enjoyed yourself Friday and Saturday.
Maybe it’s time now to take things a bit easier on yourself. To take a massive step back and evaluate why you’re doing the things you’re doing and how you feel about yourself.
Working out, eating well most of the time, being authentic and a decent person, working hard, and then enjoying yourself and not feeling guilty about it is the way forward. You need to really discover how you feel about yourself and why you do the things you do.
Why do you work so hard? Why do you absolutely kill yourself in a workout session Why do you drink wine?
Is it self-love? Or is it actually self-hate.
Always here for you,