I look back to me, 15 years ago, standing outside Fat Freddies on Quay street, frazzled, having a quick cigarette break from making pizzas. I was covered in flour, hungover from the constant nightly drinks, puffing away on a cigarette, trying to calm my mind which was working over-time. It was so hot working next to a pizza oven for 9 hours straight with only short cigarette breaks, and because I was over-weight, I was over-heated.
The second I could smoke and drink, I did. I never really had respect for myself, so it was an easy choice to make, to start taking up smoking. I never took care of myself, putting myself last in front of a big line of people that I wouldn’t dream of being friends with now. I was bullied in work, for a short time, if I had of had a little bit of confidence, it wouldn’t have even started. Bad people treat you, the way they see you treat yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, they’ll do the exact same thing.
Everything that I’ve regretted doing, I can look back and say it was because of a deep rooted lack of confidence/self-respect in myself.
I never thought, beyond my wildest dreams, not only would I lead a really healthy, happy life, that I’d be a strong, capable, responsible person. I thought I’d always smoke, I thought I’d always drink. I thought I’d always think other people were way ahead of me, and I deserved to be trampled on. I thought confident, ‘together’ people were just different, born differently, with better skills. I had no idea.
And that’s the mind-blowing thing about a lack of confidence, it’s just that you have no idea. I didn’t know it’s actually something you learn.
You’re not born with it, you’re taught tools to use. Jeez, it still blows my mind to this day. That those people who I envied so much, the only difference was, was that they had already learned the tools necessary to build un-shakeable self-confidence.
With un-shakeable self-confidence comes an absolute world of opportunity. When you’re confident you believe anything can happen, that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. When you’re confident, you accept rejection and failure better, and it does’t lead to quitting. You know that failure is a part of success, that the two just go hand in hand.
I see it in Inspire Fitness all the time. Our confident clients will have a bad day/week/month, and brush it off. They won’t torture themselves about it. My clients that are still working on their confidence, may take it as a sign as to how actually bad they are, and it may turn into a real ‘I told you I couldn’t so this’ scenario. Again, everything coming back to a strong belief in yourself.
Starting from zero confidence to being strong, and bold, there’s a few basic fundamentals you’ve got to get right first.
Working out, eating healthy and sleeping eight hours a night is a must. Working out, it’s got to be interval training with resistance training. This type of training will bring out emotion in you, no joke, and it’ll help you clear up issues in your past. (Honestly, if you think I’m kidding I’m not, it’s like therapy).
Eating healthy, you’ve just got to cut out processed food and the usual suspects of biscuits, cakes, sweets etc.
Get rid of anyone bringing you down, anyone. Listen to Tony Robbins (free on Youtube), LIFE-CHANGING STUFF THERE.
Get up early, don’t snooze, don’t drink during the week.
Drink 2 litres of water and journal your thoughts every day. They may be a confused crazy whirl of thoughts at first, but they’ll settle down and this is a great sign.
If you do all that, you’ll change. You will. And with change comes a new, different life. It just does, it’s the way it works.
It’s not even hard when you commit to all of the above, the decision to change is the hardest part. I was relieved when I allowed myself to change. Relieved that the person I always knew I could be was coming out. Relieved I didn’t have to take people’s shit anymore. Relieved I didn’t have to smoke, agh I just blossomed.
Think about it and decide to change. If you’re struggling, remember that if I can do it, you can. From over-weight, smoking, drunk pizza chef to a strong woman who now runs her own business.
Hope this helps you in some way,